ABMW – Five Stages of Grief
This series also refers to the five stages of grief. The Five stages of grief is a term that refers to the emotional response following loss. It can be triggered by any major life change such as death, job termination or relationship ending and it will mess you up in every way possible.
Although they are numbered, they do not necessarily occur in a specific order. Rather, they overlap, reoccur and basically mess you up big time. The list is as follows: denial, anger/rage, bargaining (or seeking help), depression/sadness-filled tears for days on end – sometimes weeks-, finally acceptance which leads you into peaceful healing from your loved ones’ passing away. Also, your hormone balance is way off. Basically you lack dopamine and serotonin, the happiness hormones. You might miss out on oxytocin which is there for attachment. Adrenaline and cortisol, the stress hormones, are in charge. The most extreme stage keeps on for 6-10 weeks, after that the hormones slowly balance out again. It gets easier from there, especially if you really worked through all your conflicting emotions and thoughts. If you prepare to be at peace with the situation at some point in the future. In the extreme period time of grief, you need to be very careful with yourself. Your body is in disarray and experiences enormous stress. Allow yourself to feel everything and also try to get some happiness hormones by treating yourself the best you can.
You may be experiencing denial about what has happened; anger at those who have made it happen (such as feeling betrayed by someone close); depression over everything going wrong for you now; shame because others are upset on behalf of their own losses but not yours too; guilt because there was something more you could’ve done-or didn’t do -to protect them from harm. The good news is that these emotions will pass…eventually.
1. Denial – The first shock may leave you numb and an unwillingness to accept the situation at all.
2. Anger – Frustration and helplessness may turn into strong feelings of anger either towards someone or life in general.
3. Bargaining – wishing to change the situation in any way to alleviate the pain
4. Depression – overwhelmed by sadness and the beginning to understanding the situation. Lack of sleep, crying, and loss of appetite might appear.
5. Acceptance – The situation has become a part of life and further development becomes possible